Sela Locke

Still way too much like Twilight, definitely. Try to think of your own storyline, not one you read in a book that, even with the interesting storyline, was certainly not ...

Well, hello there! Call me Sela. :D Okay, onto the review! The girl fliped the long blonde hair out of her face as she brushed a few dried tears from ...

Whoahohoho! Yuss, he bees vurry ood. Hooevr, OI fink dat... you know what? I'm going to speak coherently. So there! As I was saying, I think that Trey needs to ...

It was certainly interesting, but I noticed some odd sentences: She recognized it as chloroform before going unconscious. 'Going unconscious'? That's just... awkward. If you want to keep it simple, ...

Whoa. Really, really rushed. I felt like I was shoved on a roller-coaster I didn't like and forced to ride the whole way. I mean, you can hardly tell who ...

but firey brown eyes Fiery, not firey. :D He spoke it quickly and without hesitation I just added the 'and'. It sounded better that way. never for a moment coming ...

“I can’t,” he murmured as he walked towards the door. Without thinking she quickly grabbed his wrist tightly and tried to pull him back. I do this sometimes, too. The ...

His arms were still around me in an iron embrace. He swept me up in his arms -Chokes on hot cocoa- ooh, there's the repetition again. Try something else, because ...

Hilarious! It may be short, but the style is really funny. I was laughing at the end, the way the process just begins again, and so on. 'S really great! ...

Honestly, it seems almost unbearably flat. It's obvious you can do better, but at this point it seems all you're doing is telling. She did this, she did that, and ...

and cold, mirrored lights began to re-illuminate the city a yellow cab pulled up next to the vindictive child and honked. Ooh, me likey this sentence, but shouldn't there be ...

Haulting to a stop, I investicated to see what had caught my attention. How about, 'Halting, I edged closer." Or something like that. Yeah, this sentence is just... awkward. 0_0 ...

“Yeah… but it’s just, it’s just, it’s too boring. I mean, where’s the thrill? Where’s the action?” This, first, stuck out to me. I pictured it being more like this: ...

"We all mumbled “yes” and left out the front door." Okay, I just wanted to point this out, for some reason it struck me as awfully awkward, 'left out the ...

I think your biggest problems are punctuation and repetition . You put the exact same adjective/noun/verb over and over again, which gets quite annoying. Try going through a thesaurus. Also, ...